Ahh almost the weekend. Have a few days off of no doctors , I think! lol Port surgery was a breeze at the time and up till about 3 hours post surgery. The port sight that they said you can't notice is certainly noticable. Looks like a few quarters stuck in there under the skin! BUT the port side has very little pain. Just some tenderness if bumped. Now the line that runs from port into my upper neck area to the main artery is a bit of a different story. It's rather painful. Similar to sleeping the wrong way and waking up to your neck hurting similar to a whiplash, or sleeping in the wrong postion or somthing. Im unable to turn neck to the left. I think this is a temp thing. They said first few days be very cautious, then just next 2 weeks to to take it easy and no strenuous activities. :) This I can do! Heading outdoors to enjoy the sun and watch little one play! The things small children come up with makes me smile everyday! He's just so entertaining. Thank god for my little distraction! He's my inspiration to kick this cancer in the bum and out the door! :) Have a Blessed day!
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Another good day and another test out of the way!
I spent most of the morning thinking today was Monday, due to the holiday weekend, but finally around 11 pm a friend pointed it out that I was a day off! Oh well. I knew I had my appt today for my MUGA scan I was just a little thrown off with the actual day of the week it was! I had a change of plans and decided to take along Si with us (my 3 yr old) since I had a heads up that my scan was a "resting scan" that would only be around an hour and a half. So my gracious sister Shel, (who has been my assistant with scheduling appts, choosing doctors, taxi service and consultant, amungst many other titles) came to pick us up and take us to it. We try to keep Grammy (our mom) up to date via texts and phone calls during these types of appts due to her needle phobia, lol. I bet there's a word for that! I may have to look it up so that I can torture her a bit later with all this treatment!
Anyhow, off the 3 of us went! A very easy procedure that involved an I.V. and some fluids, wait 20 min, and some more fluids, and then some scans. In between my fluids I was able to go into the waiting room and check on those 2 who seemingly were having a grand time, snacking on cookies and chips and playing some dice! :) My only gripe over the whole procedure though was the LOVELY older nurse who so KINDLY asked me if it were my GRANDSON in the waiting room that I was checking on. I very politely explained that NO that was my son out there. I received silence after that. LOL Seriously??? I'm 40!!! I even called my mom and we had a chuckle over it UNTIL we mentioned to her that if I were the granny then that made her the GREAT granny! Now I will have to post a pic soon, so that you can all reassure me that I'm not granny looking! ;) hmmm maybe the lack of sleep and the anxiety has aged me a bit in the last few weeks, but surely not to the granny looking stage.
But all in all, a pretty good day. No pain, no waiting, and all in a timely fashion! We were able to make it home in time to snuggle in together and doze off to some make believe stories that we tend to tell each other at naptime!
Then later this evening I ran to the mall and treated myself to a new Pens shirt for the game friday, and came home to some company , (my half sis and kids) who had brought me some goodies again. I will say that these last few weeks of inpromtu random presents has been a real treat! Feeling very LOVED and very spoiled. Great day overall I must admit!
Anyhow, off the 3 of us went! A very easy procedure that involved an I.V. and some fluids, wait 20 min, and some more fluids, and then some scans. In between my fluids I was able to go into the waiting room and check on those 2 who seemingly were having a grand time, snacking on cookies and chips and playing some dice! :) My only gripe over the whole procedure though was the LOVELY older nurse who so KINDLY asked me if it were my GRANDSON in the waiting room that I was checking on. I very politely explained that NO that was my son out there. I received silence after that. LOL Seriously??? I'm 40!!! I even called my mom and we had a chuckle over it UNTIL we mentioned to her that if I were the granny then that made her the GREAT granny! Now I will have to post a pic soon, so that you can all reassure me that I'm not granny looking! ;) hmmm maybe the lack of sleep and the anxiety has aged me a bit in the last few weeks, but surely not to the granny looking stage.
But all in all, a pretty good day. No pain, no waiting, and all in a timely fashion! We were able to make it home in time to snuggle in together and doze off to some make believe stories that we tend to tell each other at naptime!
Then later this evening I ran to the mall and treated myself to a new Pens shirt for the game friday, and came home to some company , (my half sis and kids) who had brought me some goodies again. I will say that these last few weeks of inpromtu random presents has been a real treat! Feeling very LOVED and very spoiled. Great day overall I must admit!
Monday, May 27, 2013
Some more rainbows and a little more unfamiliar territory. :)
What a beautiful weekend I've had. I wanted this weekend to be full, and fun, filled with time with my boys and fiance. We enjoyed a friend's picnic with some outdoor games and great food! Caught up with some other great friends for some karaoke and an out of town bff that we hadn't seen in awhile. Very nice time! Then today for the holiday, Brian (fiance) took the baby to the parade so that I could relax a bit. Of course the baby LOVED it, and they then came home and planted a small tomato garden together. My older two sons were home and we had a nice day and tossed some chicken and veggie skewters on the grill! Really enjoyed my holiday weekend!
Tomorrow is a Muga scan. Unfamiliar territory for me so having no information on it, I did some research to prepare myself. It's a scan of the heart that monitors the pumping thru the ventricals, under different small exercises. A 3 hour process. (Or so I've read) thinking its a bit odd that the hospital hasn't called with any prep orders, and online it says there are eating and drinking and cafffiene restrictions 6 hours prior. Being a holiday, I really can't call until the morning to ask, so I suppose I will assume the restrictions until I can talk with someone early tomorrow morning. I'd hate to have to reschedule this! Onward, just another step moving forward!
Happy Memorial Day to ALL! And may god bless all the families and loved ones out serving and protecting our country past, present and future! <3
Tomorrow is a Muga scan. Unfamiliar territory for me so having no information on it, I did some research to prepare myself. It's a scan of the heart that monitors the pumping thru the ventricals, under different small exercises. A 3 hour process. (Or so I've read) thinking its a bit odd that the hospital hasn't called with any prep orders, and online it says there are eating and drinking and cafffiene restrictions 6 hours prior. Being a holiday, I really can't call until the morning to ask, so I suppose I will assume the restrictions until I can talk with someone early tomorrow morning. I'd hate to have to reschedule this! Onward, just another step moving forward!
Happy Memorial Day to ALL! And may god bless all the families and loved ones out serving and protecting our country past, present and future! <3
Saturday, May 25, 2013
A Little Rain
Nurse made a glitch in scheduling. That created a whole new fun filled day of rearranging all other appts. :) <<< fake happy face. First day of chemo moved to June 6th, due to PET scan being moved to June 5th, due to port date being moved, due to Muga date being moved. Should be all good now. Loving all the stress hassles. I promise my normal personality is in here somewhere, full of joy. It just got buried a bit for the past couple of weeks! It will return. No worries. :)
Week 3 or 4 of Being Diagnosed.
Week 3 or 4 now. I've seen Surgeon, Oncologist and Breast Cancer Specialist, etc.
Here's the plan: We must do aggresive chemo for the HER2 positive first, minimum 6 months, and then surgery afterwards. By doing chemo first they will be able to monitor the size of tumor giving them more info on how the chemo is working.
First day of chemo is June 3rd. But let's put that on the back burner for a minute.
This week, before the chemo, I will have a Muga scan ( checks the heart for the one chemo drug to make sure it can handle it), then a PET scan (checks the enitre body to ensure that there are no other areas of concern) and lastly, an outpatient procedure to install a port in my chest area to be used for treatments that saves on your veins. :)
To back it all up a bit, my choice of surgeon at this point is undetermined because I've decided that I am placing it on the backburner since my concentration right now is to give 100% with the chemo. Will give the surgery and 2 surgeons I've consulted with some more thought closer to that time. No sense in putting my brain in overdrive. This decision can wait awhile!
I think that I've caught everything up to date medically with the posts. So from here on out, maybe I won't have to backtrack! But please feel free to ask away if I left anything out that anyone may want to ask any questions about. :)
I've talked, I've researched. I've tried to share a little emotions with family and some friends too. But I do have a tendency to sugar coat for the ones that I love. I have mostly kept it in the closet, the few times that I've had panic attacks that late at night, take your breath away and the pain and tears of it all that is to come overwhelms me. I've always been a tough cookie, my life has always generally revolved around others' happiness and being there for everyone close to me and even strangers. It is the most DIFFICULT thing for me, to see my family hurting and worrying about me, knowing that I can only do one thing to help them, and that is to fight, and to fight hard! I don't do well on the "other side". lol It's sooo difficult to let others help me. It's so hard not to be able to fix another's pain, that I feel I've created. But, I am trying.
Well, its a long holiday weekend. I plan to try and make the most of it with my family and friends, and especially my children! Hope anyone that reads this will too! God bless!
Here's the plan: We must do aggresive chemo for the HER2 positive first, minimum 6 months, and then surgery afterwards. By doing chemo first they will be able to monitor the size of tumor giving them more info on how the chemo is working.
First day of chemo is June 3rd. But let's put that on the back burner for a minute.
This week, before the chemo, I will have a Muga scan ( checks the heart for the one chemo drug to make sure it can handle it), then a PET scan (checks the enitre body to ensure that there are no other areas of concern) and lastly, an outpatient procedure to install a port in my chest area to be used for treatments that saves on your veins. :)
To back it all up a bit, my choice of surgeon at this point is undetermined because I've decided that I am placing it on the backburner since my concentration right now is to give 100% with the chemo. Will give the surgery and 2 surgeons I've consulted with some more thought closer to that time. No sense in putting my brain in overdrive. This decision can wait awhile!
I think that I've caught everything up to date medically with the posts. So from here on out, maybe I won't have to backtrack! But please feel free to ask away if I left anything out that anyone may want to ask any questions about. :)
I've talked, I've researched. I've tried to share a little emotions with family and some friends too. But I do have a tendency to sugar coat for the ones that I love. I have mostly kept it in the closet, the few times that I've had panic attacks that late at night, take your breath away and the pain and tears of it all that is to come overwhelms me. I've always been a tough cookie, my life has always generally revolved around others' happiness and being there for everyone close to me and even strangers. It is the most DIFFICULT thing for me, to see my family hurting and worrying about me, knowing that I can only do one thing to help them, and that is to fight, and to fight hard! I don't do well on the "other side". lol It's sooo difficult to let others help me. It's so hard not to be able to fix another's pain, that I feel I've created. But, I am trying.
Well, its a long holiday weekend. I plan to try and make the most of it with my family and friends, and especially my children! Hope anyone that reads this will too! God bless!
Tsunamis and Rainbows: My Journey with Breast Cancer.
Day 1 of my post: Let me start with why I decided this was important to document and share with others. As of a month ago, I was a generally healthy mom of three sons dwelling on the simple things in life. Then BAM, I'm 40 as of last summer, and that is the age that we are recommended to have a mammogram. :) My first one. Quick, easy and really painless. No worries though, I've never felt anything out of the ordinary, and I'm fairly small chested so really, if there were a need to worry, I'd have felt something, right? Well, not always the case. That mammo, led to another mammo and sonogram. All of which is very common practice when you don't have a "baseline" mammo to compare to. So I went and did the 2nd mammo with a sono. That sono led to a suspicious lump that revealed "hard and jagged edges". Still, not a huge concern, but a few biopsies would ease my fears. The biopsies were scheduled and 5 pieces were removed via needle biopsy, again fairly painless. :) (I''ve had some back surgeries in the past so alot of times I do believe I have a 'higher than most pain tolerance'. But honestly not bad, a little pinching. Uncomfortable but not pain really. This had all taken place in a matter of approximately 2.5 weeks?!? Round about there.
Alas, the results came in, I think it had only been a couple of days. Pathology reports came back with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with apocrine features. ER- PR- Her2positive 3+
A lot goes through your mind when you have a couple of doctors calling and starting a conversation with "I'm sorry but....". It reminds me of what I imagine a sort of grieving process I suppose. First, it's denial, then fear, then you automatically think of all the survivors and think oh this can't really be too bad! So of course, like the rest of the world we start to scan the web for info. I started with the medical terminology to see what it all meant, then tried reading some survival posts. All of the posts I read were so uplifting, so full of hope and so positive! I really did enjoy reading them, but I started to feel guilty for my real feelings on all of this that I had going through my mind. Is there someting wrong with me, that I have tsunami feelings? And thus it brings me to today. Today, I've decided to share my story, my journey, all with honesty and truthfulness on what I feel, and how I am dealing with it. This may not be for everyone. But for those of you that aren't afraid to weather this ride with me, come along! Beware though, I've commited to sharing ALL of my feelings! Tsunami and rainbows!!!
Alas, the results came in, I think it had only been a couple of days. Pathology reports came back with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with apocrine features. ER- PR- Her2positive 3+
A lot goes through your mind when you have a couple of doctors calling and starting a conversation with "I'm sorry but....". It reminds me of what I imagine a sort of grieving process I suppose. First, it's denial, then fear, then you automatically think of all the survivors and think oh this can't really be too bad! So of course, like the rest of the world we start to scan the web for info. I started with the medical terminology to see what it all meant, then tried reading some survival posts. All of the posts I read were so uplifting, so full of hope and so positive! I really did enjoy reading them, but I started to feel guilty for my real feelings on all of this that I had going through my mind. Is there someting wrong with me, that I have tsunami feelings? And thus it brings me to today. Today, I've decided to share my story, my journey, all with honesty and truthfulness on what I feel, and how I am dealing with it. This may not be for everyone. But for those of you that aren't afraid to weather this ride with me, come along! Beware though, I've commited to sharing ALL of my feelings! Tsunami and rainbows!!!
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