Day 1 of my post: Let me start with why I decided this was important to document and share with others. As of a month ago, I was a generally healthy mom of three sons dwelling on the simple things in life. Then BAM, I'm 40 as of last summer, and that is the age that we are recommended to have a mammogram. :) My first one. Quick, easy and really painless. No worries though, I've never felt anything out of the ordinary, and I'm fairly small chested so really, if there were a need to worry, I'd have felt something, right? Well, not always the case. That mammo, led to another mammo and sonogram. All of which is very common practice when you don't have a "baseline" mammo to compare to. So I went and did the 2nd mammo with a sono. That sono led to a suspicious lump that revealed "hard and jagged edges". Still, not a huge concern, but a few biopsies would ease my fears. The biopsies were scheduled and 5 pieces were removed via needle biopsy, again fairly painless. :) (I''ve had some back surgeries in the past so alot of times I do believe I have a 'higher than most pain tolerance'. But honestly not bad, a little pinching. Uncomfortable but not pain really. This had all taken place in a matter of approximately 2.5 weeks?!? Round about there.
Alas, the results came in, I think it had only been a couple of days. Pathology reports came back with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with apocrine features. ER- PR- Her2positive 3+
A lot goes through your mind when you have a couple of doctors calling and starting a conversation with "I'm sorry but....". It reminds me of what I imagine a sort of grieving process I suppose. First, it's denial, then fear, then you automatically think of all the survivors and think oh this can't really be too bad! So of course, like the rest of the world we start to scan the web for info. I started with the medical terminology to see what it all meant, then tried reading some survival posts. All of the posts I read were so uplifting, so full of hope and so positive! I really did enjoy reading them, but I started to feel guilty for my real feelings on all of this that I had going through my mind. Is there someting wrong with me, that I have tsunami feelings? And thus it brings me to today. Today, I've decided to share my story, my journey, all with honesty and truthfulness on what I feel, and how I am dealing with it. This may not be for everyone. But for those of you that aren't afraid to weather this ride with me, come along! Beware though, I've commited to sharing ALL of my feelings! Tsunami and rainbows!!!
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