Ever notice how lonely it can get in the middle of the night as you ponder your life and think that majority of your region is deep asleep and comfortably sleeping and healing their bodies? This seems to be the hardest part of being a cancer patient. The words don't seem real. I can even block them out at times and almost forget that this is where I am and what I am doing. Recently, I had drifted off at naptime with my 3 yr old, (only 20 min really) and had this wonderful dream of my whole family being on vacation on a cruise ship. We were all laughing and tormenting grammy (my mom) for trying to keep up with celebratory shots of some green concoction that she seemed to be wearing all over her face! I even remember in this dream giving my almost 22 yr old heck for tormenting her. Then I woke up. Woke up to tears rolling down my face with a reality check that this was just a dream, that I am still here, barely a month into the cancer nightmare. It's very surreal. I don't ask myself why me though, I know it can happen to anyone, I had just imagined this type of thing happens to the elderly, and the reality is, it can happen to anyone at any time. Makes me wish for quicker and more efficient research and options for the many Millions out there whether young or old had more options!
Right now I will keep focusing on the positive, and getting through one day at a time. That's one day closer to being healthy!
Keeping strong. :)
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